I was struck by the question because, like everyone else, I often ask myself if I’m headed in the right direction. I think sometimes that I am not and wonder how to redirect myself.

For the last 10 months, I have been undergoing cancer treatment. I let many things, including my blog, fall by the wayside. Whenever I thought of it during that period, I thought of my hiatus as neglect and wondered if readers might lose interest. I was concerned about my “performance” and contribution as a blogger and teacher. But as I narrowed the scope of the reader’s question, as I applied it to myself, I realized that it was mostly my ego that was worried about the blog and if I was losing ground as a teacher. I think that when we want to assess our spiritual “performance” it is mostly our ego that wants to solicit and receive a favorable evaluation. We want to reassure ourselves that we are on the right path and that we are making reasonable progress.

The fact is, we are continually progressing, if only inch by inch and yard by yard. Certainly, there are times when we feel like we are dormant and that our progress has stopped, but it almost surely hasn’t. We are just in one of the many winters of our lives, when our energies ebb, our juices seem to congeal and our drive and ambition slow. These are times when the trees that give the most luscious fruits—the apple, the peach and the pear, just to name a few—go into their deepest rest and, yes, dormancy, but for an important reason.

Many years ago, while I was living in Brazil, I tasted a fruit that was a little like a cherry, however, not nearly as sweet or delicious as our American cherries. A Brazilian friend told me that what he called a “real,” that is, American, cherry tree required deep, prolonged cold in order to rest so it could give superior fruit in the summer, a cold that simply wasn’t to be had in Brazil. And like a North American cherry tree, we must occasionally lapse into torpor and take a break from what we would like to think of as our progress. These are times to have faith that our desires and intentions will keep us on track and provide us with momentum that will move us closer to our target of spiritual maturation. And they will. Just as we continue to process our experiences during our  dreams while we sleep, our quiet, frozen days are times of reorganizing on profound levels that allow us to awaken like the cherry tree and bloom again and bear the fruit we savor–deepening as individuals.

Many great spiritual masters in the Buddhist and Hindu traditions have been able to gaze into the past lives of their followers and connect present circumstances with the karma that produced them. However, in this world of scant spiritual practice and shallow insight into cause and effect, we must exercise restraint and humility in trying to divine the connections. We simply do not know and usually the most “obvious” connections are not connections at all. Who among us has not seen the wicked prosper? Who of us has not seen the noble suffer. Refrain from judgment and acknowledge that it is not for us to judge. Judgment curdles the nectar of compassion, the very milk of human kindness. When you see suffering, separate it in your mind from the habit of judgment. See hardship as free-standing events and allow yourself to respond as you would want others to respond to your suffering. Remember, we are not here to judge. We are here to heal ourselves and to serve others. This is our work. 

This is not to say that none of us are intuitive enough to receive correct impressions about our own past and the past lives of others. It is to say that sharing these impressions may not be kind, may not be helpful or instructive. Often when we try to teach others we are not paying attention to the fact that others may not be looking to us for instruction but simply want us to listen. Often, as we take note of others’ struggles with their circumstances, we do not see clearly how we are fumbling through ours. It is best to let go of the need to scrutinize, analyze, and categorize events as they play out since most of what is really happening is happening in the unseen world of consciousness. Know and acknowledge that you do not know why things are happening as they are. Practice acceptance and modesty. 

This does not mean that we should not do our best to mold our own energy and events in the best way possible but it does mean that we drop our traditional preference for making someone–usually ourselves or our team–right. This invariably makes someone else or their team wrong. Seng-Tsan, Third Zen Patriarch, said “Seek not to know the truth, only cease to cherish opinions.” He was right. Dropping our conviction that we are right and are therefore justified and entitled to be  deferred to because of the superiority of our stance skews everything and serves no one, including ourselves. It only serves to alienate others from us and us from ourselves because we are acting out of our egos, not our true nature as eternal beings. We have become over-identified with the present moment and cravings for false, momentary victories.

Cherish the lives and feelings of others. Cherish your own life and feelings. Do not try to judge why any of us are in our circumstances. Seek to mitigate sorrow, suffering and difficulties with love, compassion and willingness to help. Then step forward and help.

The word spirituality bothers many atheists. For many centuries it has been associated with religion, especially Christian mysticism with its cloistered adherents who live their lives in strict obedience to man-made tenets. Still, the sense of oneself as a distinctly spiritual being with an inner life persists in the minds of many who do not embrace a belief in god and who relish the modern world with its science and technology.

And while the word spiritual puts off many atheists, the word atheism seems to frighten some people who think of themselves as spiritual. In fact, watching the reaction of some folks when they hear the word atheist reminds me of the early standup comedy of George Carlin when he differentiated between the grungy unkempt beards worn by hippies and the fluffy, well-washed whiskers of Santa Claus. “Beard bad, whiskers good.”

Well then, is there an acceptable euphemism for “atheist?” And while we’re at it, should we substitute another word for “spiritual?” Or is it really a good thing to invent new terms to make everybody comfortable? Might it not be possible to rehabilitate the old standby terms like spiritual and atheist that served us for centuries and put them together to honor the birth of a new generation of individuals who are, indeed, spiritually and morally introspective while rejecting a belief in god? Can we lay claim to the truth about our own nature without paying homage to outdated systems that were born of superstition and primitive magic? Can we assert that human nature contains divine aspects and that to fully experience our own humanity practices like meditation, t’ai chi and yoga can take us deeper into our self-exploration?

I think so. The time has come to claim the right to name ourselves by whatever term describes us best and fits most comfortably. As for me, I’m a spiritual atheist.

Denying love to yourself causes as much pain, suffering and long-term damage to you as it would to a child who is struggling to grow while knowing that its parents are withholding love and nurturance. It causes soul injury and only love can heal the wounds. Although it is true that love you receive from others will help you in your efforts to heal, only love of self can reach into the deepest recesses of the heart and psyche and heal the lesions there. There is no substitute for love of self and refusal to grant it to ourselves deepens and prolongs the duration of our soul injuries.

While you may have other relationships, unless you apply the tenderness of genuine non-judgmental love and acceptance to the examination of your own broken heart there will always be an underlying fragility to your love for others, because the foundation which supports your heart function cannot be firm.

Therefore, turn your entire capacity to love first upon yourself and allow its cleansing power to empty the recesses of the mind and body of its old pain. It is true that the memories will remain forever, but their potential to generate further pain must be drained so that the energy used to repress it may become available for more productive and progressive endeavors. This flushing of emotional and spiritual debris also creates space for new love and creates a sense of freedom and spaciousness in the psyche. This realization of spaciousness is of great value to the mind and frees it to experience new inspiration. This is the appropriate time to undertake practices to direct the mind into purifying activities such as meditation and yoga in order to support a wholesome unification of mind and body.

This is especially important if old relationships must be brought to an end. Doing so with as much graciousness and largesse as possible will hasten healing afterwards. So, concentrate on turning a loving eye upon yourself and your efforts to be whole. Admire your efforts. Give yourself credit for your attempts as well as your successes.

There is another healing aspect of self love that affects people around you and supports their development as well as your own. That is setting a worthy example for them to follow. When they see that you nurture yourself, that you honor your time, talents and resources, they may be inspired to reexamine their beliefs about themselves. Never underestimate the power of example in teaching others to cultivate their own love of self. Just as you do your best to follow the example of your heroes, in time you may see that you have become one who is thought worthy to be emulated by others.

We often hear “what goes around comes around.” Some people think this is a good, if brief, explanation of the law of karma. However, it is a distorted and over-simplified understanding of a deeply complicated and highly nuanced spiritual law because it bypasses the important truth that we, like life itself, are very complicated and that the energies we engender take on a life of their own as they circulate through our lives and the lives of others. Our actions do not stand alone like telephone poles, but are connected, just like a row of telephone poles we might see along a stretch of highway, all connected by the very cable they support.

Karma is the energetic residue or byproduct of our actions that remains in the sphere of human events for a very long time, like cigarette smoke (unpleasant or negative karma) or food aromas (pleasant or positive karma) which linger in a closed room long after the actions which created them are over. This is easy to see in cases of violence and abuse of children. If no one intercedes and facilitates the healing of the child, later the child may very well re-enact what was done to him, creating another generation of injured souls, who may do the same. This is also true of positive karma. They who have received great kindness and generosity are as likely to pay it forward as they who have suffered at the hands of others.

If simplistic platitudes misrepresent the spiritual truths about the nature of karma, how then shall we think of it? How does it affect our lives and the lives of others? And how can we learn to create less negative karma and more positive? Translated from Sanskrit, karma means “action.” In traditional Buddhist teachings, from which we take our modern ideas of karma, skillful action brings about positive karma and unskillful action produces negative karma. The importance of the terms “skillful” and “unskillful” cannot be overstated because they take a lot of the traditional Judeo-Christian sting and judgment out of our notions about karma, replacing, as they do, Western language like “virtue” and “sin,” which connote not just judgment of our actions, but retribution for them if they have been “sinful.”

Skillful actions are those that are based upon the wholesome understanding that all life is transitory and that, ultimately, no one can harm us if we remain unmovable in our belief that our consciousness exists independent of our body. In Western parlance, we would say that no one can harm our soul which is the only part of us that cannot be destroyed and is of permanent value. And so, our skillful actions benefit our consciousness, or soul, and help us to free ourselves from the negative impact of karma.

We engage in unskillful actions in our day-to-day lives when we react impetuously to things that hurt or frighten us. Because we tend to believe that things around us are of permanent importance in our lives we react with aversion or attachment to events and people. If we can maintain the realization that all things are transitory and of much less value than we think, we are able to generate far less negative karma and remain firm in our commitment to preserve our peace and equanimity.

If, on the other hand, we indulge our temperamental reactions which are based either upon our skillful or unskillful means we begin to create karma. This is why attachment (excessive affection or hero-worship) and aversion (hatred) are to be avoided through spiritual practices which free us from these positive and negative attachments; all of these practices are based on meditation. If you create strong feelings around an experience the energy which was created during the experience, and later as you mull it over and relive it, tends to remain in the energy field perpetuating itself unless and until the opposite energy dilutes its strength and nullifies its influence.

A simpler way of thinking of karma is to envision subtle air currents. Once we set these currents in motion they continue and are no longer under our control. When you exhale you cannot control where your breath goes. These currents mix as they move about and interact with other air currents which have been set in motion by others. Like the telephone poles, they do not stand alone. Negative karma which we have set in motion is mitigated by our skillful and positive actions and thus can be redirected and neutralized. Remember, all the karma we create mingles with our group and family karma and with the effects of the karma of others.

Can We Control Karma?

I once complained to a martial arts teacher that my knee hurt as I did the form. He said, “There is nothing wrong with your knee. You are using it badly. You are not practicing awareness.” He went on to instruct me on focusing my awareness in the knee as I did the form. I was astounded at how deeply I could experience the inner workings of my knee as I kept it in proper alignment throughout the form. The pain stopped.

Awareness is the most powerful agent we can bring to bear in creating and experiencing the effects of karma. Even when we are engaged in activities that we know are fundamentally unskillful or motivated by negative desires and emotions, we can demand of ourselves that we maintain an honest awareness of what we are doing. This, at least, enables us to reconcile our outer world with our inner world. By maintaining this coherence, we at least do not deceive ourselves and, thus, our positive energies can influence us in the end.

Even when we are engaged in worthy activities, we should foster non-judgmental awareness of our reasons for our actions. Service to others and doing what is best for all are the most skillful means of all.

Among our numbers are many who wish to step forward and say that we have an inner life, and that is not based upon a belief in god but upon meditation, yoga, t’ai chi, dance, painting, sculpting and—dare I say it?—god knows what else that draws us into the private expanse of our own psyches where we explore without someone else telling us what we should expect to find within ourselves provided that we search in just the right way. For us, the right way is the way we see fit to search, both within and without.

Atheist assertions that we are god are meant in the truest Jungian sense. God as archetype is the mythology projected by the unconscious mind into the outer world. Jung believed that this projection was to allow us to experience in the outer world what exists in our unconscious. But, sooner or later, we were supposed to “get it,” that is, to understand that what we see in life is a reflection of our inner world where all the attributes of the archetype, in this case god, exist in abundance. That is, godly nature is our nature. If it were not so, we could not even imagine it.  As we contemplate the archetype, at some point in the development of our species, we must grasp that we can cultivate godly attributes in our personal character. Naturally, this applies equally to the negative traits.

So, the message really is: we are god, not as metaphor, but as fact. When ancient humans created all-powerful imaginary beings they empowered themselves to some extent by taking much of the fear out of the unknown and unknowable worlds. They made a connection to it through the gods they imagined into existence. They pressed upon their gods and demons all the dark and luminous powers that we imagine our gods and demons to have, even in this modern age when so many still cling to antiquated ideas of good and evil.

But when we look closely at where these powers come from we see that they have their origins in us. We are god is not just a slogan but a truth to linger over. To assert that we are god is to contemplate what we have wrought in our world and to accept that it is time to allow the higher aspects of our nature to ripen. And how we do that is up to us. While evolution was instilling survival instincts in mammals (not to mentions amphibians, et. al.) it was also instilling in us a capacity to seek, recognize and attribute meaning to circumstances and relationships, including our relationship with the phenomenal world whose forces we were not able to apprehend with our bodily senses. Mixing strange and frightening powers like lightning with an aura of mystery gave rise to gods, demons, magic and spells within the primitive mind. And with the rise of such things came the rise of those pretending to have special insight into and power over them—the priestly classes. Nowadays, we call them clergy.

And so those of us who believe that we are god wish with Thomas Paine to make our spiritual home within our own minds. It is here that character is formed and where all divine aspects express themselves. We ask, could the march of evolution have made less accommodation for our adaptation than the crab apple and the common housefly? We think that while evolutionary principles guided the development of outward forms it likewise gave rise to greater intellect and sensibilities concerning our quest for meaning, which takes us into the realms of psychology and mysticism, both of which are paths to self-discovery, proper occupations for animals of higher intellect—like cats and dogs—and humans.

Whenever we hear others say they are spiritual the first thing they usually hasten to add is that they are not religious or affiliated with a church. I think the reason that so many of us feel the need to stipulate what does NOT define us is our uncomfortable awareness that we have slept long only to awaken in the primal vastness of our own unexplored landscape. Spirituality then is the journey into that vastness without the template of codified religion and, for many of us, without a belief in God. And because so many of us who have embarked upon this journey were molded in the familiar forms of organized religion the sudden freedom to find our own way, although exciting, is at times unsettling.

But for now, let us not dwell on the negative what-it’s-not definitions, but take a look at what spirituality really is.

1. The Self as the Land of Discovery – Cultivation of personal spirituality is the recognition that everything worth discovering lies within us because what we find within us is the only learning we can take along when we leave this world. We will leave behind the degrees and certificates, the diplomas and credentials. When we re-enter the dimension of eternal realities we will lay aside the temporary identity of the body and resume the eternal identity of our soul. With all our flaws, inconsistencies and false starts we are the Land of Discovery and the very things that hurt and frighten us most are the key factors that guide us inward. Asking What is Spirituality? as a mantra can pull us toward our still-point center where the distracting agitation of the mundane world is not present. This silent place is the landscape we must explore. It is here, inside, that we do our spiritual groundwork.

2. Exploration Through Various Modalities – yoga, meditation, shamanism, dream diaries, journaling, prayer, T’ai Chi, dance, drumming. The list is nearly endless. Another way of experiencing the sublime involves pushing the body to its limits of endurance, at which point some people report spiritual phenomena comparable to out-of-body events. Such experiences can change one’s understanding of life and one’s very nature. There are many ways to break down or soften the boundaries between the material world and the unseen dimensions. Sometimes we come upon these methods by accident, as in the case of out-of-body states caused by trauma and near-death. An intentional undertaking of spiritual growth can be accelerated by most of these ancient practices and most sincere seekers choose at least one as a daily practice.

3. Transpersonal View of Reality – Transpersonal simply means states of consciousness which exceed the limits of personal identity. Most of us who believe that we have a life beyond the boundaries of the body have had some kind of experience that opened us to this possibility. We have come to believe that the divine essence which fills the expanse of all possible universes fills us as well. We are not just full of god; god is full of us. This realization enables us to explore the Self as the Land of Discovery while acknowledging the eternal nature of the human soul.

4. Evolving Philosophy – This refers to more than just personal evolution, but deliberate development undertaken with the express purpose of achieving deeper states of insight and broader integration of the Self into the wider world. It is an acknowledgement that, whether we mean to be or not, we are in the process of becoming someone different from the person we are right now. We do not so much control our evolution as ride it. In fact, I think of it as a horse without a mane or bridle. Perhaps a better image is the surfer’s ideal wave. It is the soul in its natural habitat and it cannot be controlled. Nor can it be submerged for very long. It is our blueprint, our software, and it is changing. We can influence our development by cultivating high ideals and emulating those we consider exemplars. There is much we can do to guide our transformation; but we cannot remain the same.

So, what is spirituality? It is you at your best and worst. But mostly, it is you whenever you are attentive to your thoughts, actions and desires. It is you while you are engaged in examining yourself and where you are headed. It is you when you are engaged in activities that take you into the recesses of your inner world. It is you when you remember that you are more than you realize. It is you when you are willing to assess how well you are doing in your efforts to be whole.

1.  Begin your search for your life purpose with the possibility that you may have come to the earth with many objectives in mind, not just one. This realization may help you to broaden your field of exploration and eliminate some of the fear of making a serious career mistake with long-term repercussions. It also is a good reminder that your life purpose may contain the seeds of several “correct” choices. For some people, their avocations are as important to them as how they make their living. I knew an insurance salesman who made a very fine living in sales, but his passion was rock collecting. His entire basement was filled with carefully labeled specimens that he had found all over the world. He married a woman who enjoyed camping and they spent weekends on rock-collecting expeditions where they could also hike, fish and swim. Their interests were compatible and made for many wonderful vacations so they could be together while combining the pastimes each of them enjoyed most. Later, they taught their children to love all of these related activities. So, as you search for your life purpose, broaden your field of exploration and remember that one of your possible choices may make for the most lucrative career, while another may be the perfect hobby that you will be able to afford because of choosing a good occupation.

2.  The second recommendation is based upon the work of Dr. Mark Thurston. Dr. Thurston suggests that rather than think of an objective like becoming “a doctor,” one begin by thinking instead of becoming “one who heals bodies.” You can see how this shift in focus might help you in considering your life purpose if, for example, physical healing is what you are interested in doing. It is freeing to the mind to remember that the world is full of people who directly help to heal the sick without spending years in post-graduate training and incurring back-breaking debt. Now that you have broadened the field of possibilities you can see before you literally scores of professions which make up the world of health care besides doctors: nurses, nurse practitioners, doctor’s assistants, massage therapists, dentists, radiology technicians, inhalation therapists, physical therapists, not to mention the vast array of engineers who design highly specialized equipment that make modern diagnosis and treatment possible. And don’t forget the technicians who maintain the equipment and the chemists who formulate products like medications, and the business people who manufacture the products used in health care. I knew a man who made his living—a good one—by installing and repairing dental chairs and equipment. Although I had sat in dentist’s chairs many times throughout my life, it had never occurred to me that there had to be a long list of people who made and maintained such equipment. Your life purpose may be perfectly expressed through any one of the myriad occupations found among the list of health care providers and their supporters. The list is long and full of people who directly provide nurturance and healing to the sick and injured.

Just as there are those who heal bodies, there are those who heal minds. The list of occupations related to psychiatry and psychology is as long as your arm. Likewise, there are those who yearn to tell stories—not just writers but people who act, direct, design and execute theater and film lighting, do makeup and hair, build sets and manage theaters. There are people who want nothing more in life than to serve animals. Their opportunities for service in helping careers is large and growing. There are people who love history but don’t want to be indoors: think archeology and anthropology. Your life purpose may be on the fringes of a field you are overlooking because you don’t want to pursue the “primary” objective in that field, such as becoming a lawyer. But maybe court reporting would fulfill your desire to be in the courtroom and work with fine detail or record-keeping.

The same can be said of every field of endeavor. For every possible profession you can think of there are dozens of others which are directly connected to it, supporting its existence and success. You might think of your life purpose as a spot on a road map labeled “Your Life Purpose.” As you look at the map you can see that your particular destination is connected to hundreds of other locations and roadways, not to mention countless others just two steps removed on the same career map.

Lastly, your life purpose may have little or nothing to do with what you do for a living. Your life purpose—the primary one, anyway—may be to overcome a character flaw that dogs you. Perhaps you’re too quick to judge or criticize. Perhaps you have too little patience to enable you to have a stable relationship for more than a few months. Maybe you’re just plain stuck, immobilized by fear and unable to figure out why. In such a case, finding out why just may be your life purpose because, in the end, how you developed and cultivated your soul will be more important than what you did for a living and how much money you made along the way.